You know you've been in
by Not Alone on the Tundra
Summary: A list made by one of my fellow guard members and her cousin, a trombone player. Anything in brackets is a comment made by our guard captain Katie the Rad. Anyway, R&R please and enjoy! Yay, Newport Harbor!


**You know you've been in [our band/guard too long when...** /c

.the biggest achievement of the day is when you make a straight line.

. you refer to the band room as "home"

.You've slept in teh band room

.you can tell which chairs don't wiggle by looking at them

.at a football game, "the other team's band" and "the infidels" seem to mean the same thing...(inshallah)

.you travel anywhere with a flute or tuba player and instinctively grab a stand  
.you finally realize that the flue section leader is secretly training her minions (Other flautists) to be stealth assassin ninja's because she wants us all dead (We're on to you Saralyn)

.you know that there aren't any people in band with red hair, they're just really pissed off.

. "we need more cowbell" is no longer a joke, it's a fact of life. [My personal favorite

.you actually pay attention to the drum major.

.you've figured out all the attacks that the band director would know if he was a pokemon (these are at the bottom of the list)

.you can retape all your equipment in less than five minutes.

.you already have electric tape at hand at all times (black or white, pick one)

.people at the Home Depot recognized you walking in a get the electric tape already.

."tuna" or "Chariots of fire" sounds like STDs

.you think you have tuna

.you know you have tuna

.you can sing more than one instrument's part for your field show

.you've thought about making some bandos become kamikazes at competitions, just to even the odds

.tonguing doesn't sound dirty

.you do it right because you still think it does

.you can do flourishes without hitting your butt [dang straight!

.you make a list of how you know you've been in [ourguard/band too long

.you start xtwirlingx spinning brooms, croquet mallets, shovels, or any poleaxe type object without thinking about it

.you're called to attention and you actually do it.

.you hear someone use teh phrases "tume", "piccolos" or "oboes" in one sentence and instinctively say "shoot one"

.you can say "this one time, at band camp" and no be referring to the movie

.you can say "this one time, at band camp" and seem to quote the movie, but it actually happened

.calling trombones "boners" no longer seems funny [but rather convenient

.you carry uzi clips filled with reeds and you burn through one in 5 minutes (reload)

.you carry valve oil not only because you use it, but because it smells n i c e .

. People start realizing that the trombone is the greatest instrument ever created ever. (--) (--) (--) (--) [apparently it's a dancing kirby

.you think that if you were just a little more powerful in the dark side, you could reach eighth position

.you have more that one pair of marching shoes.

.you wear marching or jazz shoes and those snazzy long black socks even if you're not going to a competition

.you've had more than one field show related dream and corrected yourself when you woke up

.you think Bob's sets are easy

.you realize you were wrong and there's no way in Riverside that we can pull em' off no matter how hard we try

.more than half of your brain is devoted to reacting to hearing "carry on wayward son"

.your drum major has run up the stairs in reaction to the xinfidelsx other band playing the theme to "Rocky'

.more than half the band cares.

.half the band cares

.somebody care?

.you care.

.you know what joke/story the band director is about to tell before he tells it

.the band director's random tangents don't annoy you, you use them to your advantage

.you always have teh same seat on the bus, and everyone knows that it's your seat (mine, grrr, shutup I'm menstrual) [apparently Michael was bleeding

.you can put your uniform on in 2 minutes on a moving bus

.you know this because you've timed yourself

.you've almost flashed random people and you're not embarrassed by it (w00t)

. you don't care whether or not it's time to dress out, you will anyways (keep your pants on Maria)

.your guard can put their show makeup on a moving bus perfectly in less than 5 minutes

.they look freaky anyways

.you know that the coach will show up half an hour late but you're there 15 minutes early anyways. [-coughcaricough-

.you realize that you're late to class and it's not your fault...

.you're used to your socks and shoes being sopping wet every morning

.you've developed a "sock tan"

.more than half of your socks are black and go halfway up your leg (ankle socks for guard)

.you no longer get angry if you turn a corner and someone yells a "hace"

.you're no longer shocked that the drum line can't keep their intervals

.when the drumline keeps their intervals and you pass out from sheer ecstasy

.you make it through the entire field show without hitting anyone with your flag, but you didn't want to

.that scene in Star Wars when they blow up the death star is exactly like this one set you have...

.you stopped writing this list for a minute because Jack FM is playing Carry On w00t

.you knew all the words and played the part for Guitar Hero II on air guitar

.you no longer think the guard is emo for wearing black all the time to practice

.you're pissed that the trombone part for Carry On doesn't get to play the entire intense guitar solo (share the glor, xBob Heather Milesx trumpets)

.someone yells "birdie on a perch" and you immediately drop everything and brace yourself. Freaking Kanadians...

69.you just giggled that this is number 69 gigity gigity.(but it's not as funny as it used to be because you've been in band so long)

.you're no longer as shocked by the perverse things the guards says and does

.you say and do things worse than guard does [n o o o o

.you wasted a pantload of time trying to learn to "sexy walk" [-coughJennycough-

.you just laughed and plan on using the phrase "pantload" sometime in the near future.

.you can spin a rifle and sabre at the same time [what now bitaches?

.you do something stupid while messing around at practice and the coach puts it in teh work

.you "sing heil" when the assistant drum major/drum major walks into the room (Nikiel)

.you refer to the guard's marching positions as the "moving eyebrow" [because it is

.you received more than one list like this one

.you've made a song about guard

.you're easily distracted by shiny things

.you practice

.for more than five minutes

.you actually play your part better after you do

.you understand more than half this list

.Carl's Jr.'s within 10 miles have warning signs up about you and other bandos Xduring band camp and after competitionsX permanently.

.you wonder why people look at you funny when you forget to take off your field show makeup

.people no longer look at you funny when you've forgotten to take off your field show makeup.

.you've referred to your band director as "dad" sarcastically or otherwise.

.you weren't embarrassed about it

.your invite list for parties contain more than 1/3 of the band

.you think I should have put 1/2 rather than 1/3

.you know what other people's gloves smell like

.you think your gloves smell much better

.you know which flag is better than others at a glance

.you've named your equipment.

.you wonder why people give you funny stares when you talk about or to your equipment

.you refer to your equipment's given names when you talk about them

.people no longer give you funny stares when you talk about or to your equipment

.your cheat tape is actually halfway between the butt of your flag and the silk.

.you never really because mature and immediately laughed when you read teh word "butt" (hehehe) (guard: tehehe)

101.you kept going after you passed 1-- ways you know you've been in [our band too long

.you know the perfect place in the band room to take a nap

.people aren't surprised to find you sleeping there

.you have thrones in the guard room. [AND MINE IS BIG AND WONDERFUL!

.you don't know 50 ways to leave your lover, but you do know 50 ways to kill someone with your flag/rifle/sabre...accidentally.

.the tubas can actually play (mean but true)

.you think the saxophones have spawned because there are so many of them

.you know that all the sax players originate in teh same cloning facility as Mewtwo when they were trying to create teh ultimate pokemon trainer to go along with Mewtwo, but they failed miserably, which is why they all play sax now (they also can't have children because they're clones, and they only look different because they kept changing the template)

.you have a collapsible stand

.you make collapsible stand jokes

.you've caught your drum major directing in their sleep [in the car...we love Nick

.the "lap game" doesn't seem perverse anymore

.it does, that's why you always want to play it when you can't find a perch

.you're no longer embarrassed you have to write your name in the air with your butt because you lost the name game

.you write your name in the air with your butt, not because you lost, but because you wanted to (-coughHeathercough-)

.you like to ask the freshman "what starts with f and ends with uck"just to see what they say

.you then charge the freshman for swearing in front of an officer.

.you're disappointed when you ask someone "what starts with sk and ends with bus" and they don't say "skbus"

.the only reason you're not in rehab is because they don't know how to treat valve oil abuse

.you don't know why the rum is gone.

.you realize that reeds are the training wheel of the music world

.you call a friend to get a few more ideas on your "you know you've been in band/guard too long" list. [you're welcome Sarah

.your pit pays attention (to anything at all would be nice)

.the sound of a trumpet no longer makes your ears bleed

.you realize that there are always too many people with trumpets, but barely any trumpet players

.the drumline only does half the rimshots that they used to

.every section in the band does a different part for the "light rave" song

.when one person starts singing Trogdor, everyone joins

.when you remember people's nicknames, but not their actual names

.you found it hilarious when it seemed your drum major cued the rain

.you actually believe and know that your drum major cued the rain, which is why we must call him **Rainman** Don't try to hide it Rainman, because we know (save the little village in Mexico, Rainman)

center **H's Pokemon attacks:**  
-Mean look: you can't leave band  
-Growl: your self esteem went down  
-Glare: causes paralyze condition  
-Hyper Bea,: You have incurred the wrath of H, H does not need to recharge


End file.
